Wednesday, September 23, 2009

25 years of happiness ???

A pretty lame heading I know not the usual kind of riveting line which promises a lot and then delivers absolutely nothing. I suppose in this instance it is the opposite. You can be the judge of that.
This phrase came up last evening when a few of us were having a chat. This was the line which was used by two lovers on their invitation for a party to celebrate 25 years of well... being lovers I guess.
Before I ramble any further I need to stress that my intention is not to criticize this relationship. I can't afford to do that.
But I am just intrigued. Firstly how two married individuals who are also in the public eye can manage to have a solid relationship for 25 years? It seems with the consent of their spouses. Yes the male is the head of a large family owned company that manufactures products which are a household name. And the lady too is equally prominent.
Generally from the little bit I know an affair is a short lived exercise. A flash in the pan. Which ends in hurt to at least one party. But this particular affair has swum against the tide. It has lasted longer than some peoples marriages. A question which opens an whole new can of worms? Maybe marriage should be like an affair.
Sometimes when you live together for a long time you drop your guard and relax the standards of your decorum. What I say was beautifully summarised in a response to a post by isheeta the desi girl where she says "Married men fart A LOT more than single men AND MORE FREQUENTLY". Someone has responded quite wisely I must add saying "that the all men pass wind in equal amounts its just that once you are married they decide to do that in front of you". Which is absolutely true. I should know.
What really intrigues me is what the other party feels. Do they not hurt? Do they not consider it a breach of trust? Or is it just part of the cycle of life of the rich and famous? Or is it just plain economic sense?
I know of a lawyer who advised a client that she should not file for divorce from her husband who lives separately unless she wants to get married again. Which was really not her intention. The reason being this way she would not loose 50% of her assets if he dies before her. On the reverse side I also know of some gents who had been living with other females without getting divorced and even having kids with them. And those families being homeless because they never realized that they don't own the house they lived in.
Of course I believe all this happens when a marriage looses its spark and thrill and guess one way to ensure that it never breaks down to this level is to behave and treat one another in the same manner you did when you were dating.


Lady divine said...

I'm no expert on marriage.. but all I can say is that to keep a relationship going, requires effort, give and take, attention and care..:)

A good level of understanding.. and never lose that spark that was there in the beginning:)

Easier said that done I suppose. but nothing in life is easy eh.

ViceUnVersa said...

Food for thought CJ, much food for thought. I honestly believe that there is no more a right or wrong is it?
Only thing I believe is what my Dad said to me so long ago, I believe it's a famous quote and not his, none the less, the gist was;
"when poverty walks in through the door, love flies out of the bedroom window"
Quite right you know.