Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
You had me at hello – it was pure piggy love.
You are everything I need or wanted in a meat.
With your sweet taste on my tongue, I feel so darn complete.
I love to watch you sizzle and pop on that grill.
Your oozing fat’s delicious, your texture is a thrill.
You get along with everyone but can stand on your own.
If taste was a kingdom, you’d have a porky throne.
I come before you now to get down on my knee.
If you say yes, dear Bacon, I’d just die in jubilee.
I’d love you till forever, I’d never say goodbye.
The day I’d stop loving is the day that piglets fly.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
whom they weren't enthused about, and so decided to give him a test
Irish Math Test
A Irishman wants a job, but the company won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
Here is your first question, the Chairman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" The Irishman says? "Dat is easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the Chairman asks.
"Have you ain't got no brain? Tree and tree plus tree makes 9" says the Irishman.
"Fair enough," says the Chairman. "Here's your second question. Use the
same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that
he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree... "Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, plus dirty tree. Dat makes 99."
The Chairman is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Irishman, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree
and a turd, which makes ONE HUNDRED!"
That Irishman is now head of Qantas
She said: Cheque books.
* The easiest way to make your old car run better, is
to check the prices of new car.
* Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A:Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
* Q:What's the difference between a good lawyer and a
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
* Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one
full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.
* Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe
your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
* Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
* Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures
you continue to do so.
* Q: Singh enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and
closes it. He does this again and again. Why?
A: Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.
What's the difference between a good secretary and a personal secretary?
One says "Good morning, boss". The other says "It's morning, boss."
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.
Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.
War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
Man who stands on toilet is high on p0t.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Finally CONFUCIUS SAY. . ......
"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"
Man with hole in pocket feel "cocky" all day
Girl sitting on jockey's lap get 'hot tip'
Man who tap around pubic area is 'beating round the bush'
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress.
-- John Adams
2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the
newspaper you are misinformed.
-- Mark Twain
3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But
then I repeat myself.
-- Mark Twain
4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like
a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-- Winston Churchill
5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the
support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw
6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt
he proposes to pay off with your money.
-- G. Gordon Liddy
7. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on
what to have for dinner.
-- James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)
8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in
rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
-- Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University
9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys
to teenage boys.
-- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to
live at the expense of everybody else.
-- Frederic Bastiat, French economist(1801-1850)
11. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short
phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it
stops moving, subsidize it.
-- Ronald Reagan (1986)
12. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
-- Will Rogers
13. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it
costs when it's free!
-- P.J. O'Rourke
14. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as
possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
-- Voltaire (1764)
15. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean
politics won't take an interest in you!
-- Pericles (430 B.C.)
16. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in
-- Mark Twain (1866)
17. Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.
18. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite
at one end and no responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan
19. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings.
The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-- Winston Churchill
20. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the
taxidermist leaves the skin.
-- Mark Twain
21. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to
fill the world with fools.
-- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
22. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save Congress.
-- Mark Twain
23. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
-- Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)
24. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong
enough to take everything you have.
-- Thomas Jefferson
25. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
FIVE BEST SENTENCES
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth
out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for...another person must work
for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does
not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work,
because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other
half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody else is
going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any
Can you think of a reason for not sharing this?
Neither could I......
Monday, September 26, 2011
Somehow this was what I was listening to as I typed this post.
Friday, September 23, 2011
A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends. "Oh, no!" she suddenly exclaimed. "Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He'll be so annoyed if it's not ready on time."
When she got home, she discovered all she had in the fridge was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food.. With no time to go to the supermarket, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf.
She greeted her husband warmly when he came home, and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, he seemed to be enjoying it.
"Darling, this is the best dinner you've made me in 40 years of marriage! You can make this for me any day?"
Needless to say, every golf day from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish. She told her golf partners about it, and they were all horrified. "You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed!?
Two months later, her husband died. The women were sitting around the clubhouse, and one of them said, "You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly knowing you murdered your husband?"
The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the windowsill while he was licking his arse."
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Initially we were seated outside and I ordered a pack of ciggerrets since I had left mine in the vehicle. However it started raining the moment the fags arrived and we had to move inside into an area which was non smoking. I asked them "IF" I could return them since I didn't need them anymore. And of course they obliged without a fuss. I am sure it would have been an ordeal to get the item removed from the bill with their electronic systems that's why I appreciate this gesture very much. Even when we wanted to move to a table in a quieter area which was reserved once again they were happy to accomodate our request. And then came the final act of kindness which was the icing on the cake. I was dining with a friend whose wife was kind of stressed out because he was spending too much time working. So he asked if he could have some of those complimentary mint chocolates which they bring to the table to take home for her cos she loves them. The waiter actually gave him an enitre little tub the size of a yoghurt container filled to the brim with these chocolates. Now you might think a little tub was not that many but it was much more than we were expecting and it was done so spontaneously we were both overjoyed. It was the perfect ending to a delicious meal. Yes the food was amazing specially the fried calamari with tamarind sauce. So here I am ending my post by tipping my hat (with words) to the staff of the lagoon "thank you my friends for all your kindness keep the good work up"! Because I will be back sooner than later to experience your generosity once more.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
While the digs were humble and down to earth, there was nothing humble about the pedigree of the product they serve. In fact one could describe it as legendary. What we don't realize is this is the same coffee we drink at some of the finer restaurants. And to my unrefined tongue it tastes as good as the more expensive international brands here in the market. Like Lavazza and illy or I might even venture to say even better because it is fresher.
end isn't it? Specially for chaps like me who can't stomach superficial pretentious crap.
Monday, September 12, 2011
In the good old days I was an avid reader. Devouring a couple of books a week. Some people drink coco to sleep but in my case I needed a couple of pages of a book to sleep. I can remember once I was stranded without anything to read in Tissamaharama and was up all night. Till I found a detail leaflet which generally accompany medicine and started reading it like a drug addict finally getting his hands on his fix. But sadly during the past few months this reading habit had to be put on the back burner so to speak due to a lack of light. Yes as unbelievable as it might seem it is true. You see I use a little reading lamp which was homemade which throughout a shabby pool of dim light to read without waking my wife up. But as the years passed and I grew wiser it had a completely opposite effect on my sight. Nowadays the light was not sufficient to make the lettering visible.
But it all changed a couple of days ago when I spied a set of reading lamps in a shop window on my way to office from a meeting. Now all this time I have been looking for decent reading lamps. One for my study and one for the bed room but everyone which came across my path were either too expensive or just too shabby. Anyway these lamps were neither great looking nor extremely expensive which was perfect for me.
Now both these lamps are happily installed in my humble abode and I am delighted to say I am enjoying the pleasure of reading quite contentedly once more. Of course every silver cloud has a dark lining as it seems because now my problem is not getting enough sleep and it is a very sleepy me who is tapping away at this post right now. Yawwwwwn.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
In 1975, Kodak invented the digital camera—then stuck it in a safe lest it destroy its lucrative film business. By the time Kodak was ready to unleash its digital prowess, everyone from Canon to Sony was selling their own digital cameras. What a shame. What a crying shame and today Kodak is struggling because of the very thing they invented.
In their constant search for happiness and Nirvana of any kind we Sri Lankans are quite ingenious in finding new ways to get high. I can remember when I was young it was coke and disprin. Then there was corexd and portello. I know some people who open the petrol tank of their Bikes and take a good deep breath of the fumes. Yesterday I heard that the latest combination to hit the streets of Colombo is to combine a small sachet of hair gel with necto. Apparently it only works with Necto and not with any other carbonated beverage. Makes me wonder if Gel and red bull might work too. I wonder if this is the brain child of some great marketing genius to help sales grow? Hmmm what will they think of next?
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
What a great example of reverse psychology by Iraj. I found this completely by accident when someone posted it on my facebook wall. If you look closely you will see what a scathing criticism it is of the terrible state our country’s police force is in. Yet so cleverly done that the authorities can’t complain.
What I found more interesting was how people on youtube had hijacked this song and done their own versions of it. Making it a great example of a 100% local viral campaign.
The sad thing is apparently the TV channels in Sri Lanka are scared to run this other than Derana. But my hats off to Iraj for his bold stand. Will he become the Eminem of Sri Lanka I wonder????
And the peoples version is below.