The One Liners

* I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's
interested in,
She said: Cheque books.

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* The easiest way to make your old car run better, is
to check the prices of new car.
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* Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?

A:Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
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* Q:What's the difference between a good lawyer and a
great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
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* Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one
full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.
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* Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe
your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
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* Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
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* Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures
you continue to do so.
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* Q: Singh enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and
closes it. He does this again and again. Why?

A: Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.
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What's the difference between a good secretary and a personal secretary?
One says "Good morning, boss". The other says "It's morning, boss."