The body politic...

No this is not about the current political situation I believe enough has been said and I really have nothing new to add. But this is about the gym I go to. And some of the goings on below the surface which I have begun to notice.
The gym I go to is now renamed "Body Bar" but I am sure you would have heard of it as its unglamorous former self which was Global Fitness. In all probability you might not have because It is one of those low profile gyms. For instance I have never ever seen it advertised even once. But it is patronised by some of colombos rich and beautiful. I might need to stress that I am the exception to the rule here.
I have been a regular at this place for over three years and one thing I really found was the haste for the instructors on duty to actually help clients out with their work out. For instance when I started I wanted someone to develop a schedule for me and you could say I was sent from pillar to post till out of frustration I decided to hire a personal trainer of my own (for an additional fee of course) to work out with mthree days a week. As time went by I realized that the main income for the instructors is through "personal training" and they subtly encourage this by purposeful inaction when they are on duty. And naturally there is a high level of competition amongst the trainers for clients. Now the guy who trains me used to work their but not any more but he was a favourite of the lady who is the owner of the gym and he was still allowed to do personal training. Also he is quite knowledgable though he too is a bit of a high strung chap and quite quick to take offence for the slightest thing. Somehow all the rest of the istructors ganged up on this boy and go out of their way to make his life difficult. These are some of the stuff I have observed with my own eyes.
Sometimes RN has to fill in as an instructor when no one is on duty the moment he is on duty the other guys who are supposed to be sharing the shift with him dissappear ensuring that he has to bare the brunt of the work. When he is training a client they would always try to grab the bench or weights which he is using. Also it seems that they have been carrying tales and complaining about him to clients because some of his new clients are prone to drop him all of a sudden. Even I was told to move from him by another member. This is kind of petty but this also lead to a dangerous situation. RN was doing a bench press with a large weight when it had slipped out of his hands and landed on his chest. And though there were at least two or three instructors who were presnt only one had half heartedly tried to help him to remove the weight while the others present had chosen to keep their eyes averted. Now I call this absolutely illresponsible behaviour specially since this boy could have got choked to death. But what I can't understand is individually all these guys are quite decent human beings. But together as a group they become quite viscious. Now could I call this a case of sport imitating art? At least the art of politics? Cos this is the kind of situation you would expect from some of our third rate parlimentarians not sportsmen who I thought was bound by a more honerable code.

An intutive insight...

I was making a presentation to some bankers the other day and afterwards we were talking about how some businessmen were making huge amounts of money. Beyond comprehension. For instance there was this true storu how one businessman bought a property in Colombo 3 and sold it for a profit of 85 million bucks the very next day... and of another who bought beach front property in the east for 10,000 a perch and sold it for 75,000 within one week. These gains are enormous. One of the bankers who were present made this interesting point. In general according to economic theory high returns means high risk. But in the current political climate this economic theory has evolved to high returns with very low risk for a lucky few. The main reason for this is Corruption! Because the laws of the land are pliant or as in certain cases do not apply to the favoured few; thereby giving them access to unlimited wealth beyond comprehension. Just think about it and you will realise how true it is.

The balls of life...

I don't know who said this but I think it is really an eye opener for some of us. If anyone knows who said this please do let me know....

"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you're keeping all of these in the Air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four Balls - Family, Health, Friends and Spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed,marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it."

WORK EFFICIENTLY DURING OFFICE HOURS AND LEAVE ON TIME. GIVE THE REQUIRED TIME TO YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS & HAVE PROPER REST.

More of the same?

This was a line which I saw in the Sunday times in one of those columns which is supposed to be satiric take on the politics of Sri Lanka by Ryp van Winkle. These days my mind has been grappling with the problem of who I should cast my vote for. And then this columnist made the choice so simple for me. All he did was say ask yourself "Do you want more of the same?" And I did. Suddenly everything is clear as can be. And one thing I know is that I definitely don’t want more of the same which I am seeing in this country right now. So it is time for a change. But I sincerely hope I will not regret my decision.

Snicker!!!!!!

It was another beautiful morning… I had just finished my workout at the gym and was about to head to my vehicle when a long legged beauty siddled up to me and said “I was at temple trees last night” and lashed his eye lashes ever so beautifully. Nope that was not a typo but the person I am talking about is part of the fashion glitterati of the city and has the skin and figure any woman would die for. He is actually quite a nice and friendly guy prone to bouts of bitchiness like all good gay men should be. Anyway it turns out that he had the honor of being invited to dinner at temple trees and addressed by the few so called intellectuals in the current regime as he was a member of the Young professionals association. Of course good old MR had not made his presence felt as I am sure he would have felt like a square peg in a round hole after all these were not professional bull shitters like his usual cronies and hangers on. At least so I thought. The Young professionals had been addressed by the likes of GL Piries the Governor of the Central Bank and the ghoulish chairman of the BOI Dhammika Perera. Well I was about to roll my eyes and do my “Wow you are so much higher than me in the human species” number when he said “I went with Malaka you know”…. Yes Malaka the proud fruit of the loins of Merv the perv though not as bad as the dad as quite a reputation for skullduggery of his own. I just could not help looking up at the heavens above and wondering what on earth this world has come to. Is our country one of the few places where a professional thug and drug peddler is allowed to take part in such a forum? Or is it that we are so broad minded we even consider people who resort to such unsavory acts as professionals too?

Interesting.... to say the least

I saw two articles in the newspaper today… well one was an article and the other was an advertisement both appearing in todays Lankadeepa… the first one was in page three about a woman who had given birth to a child herself and then left it to die of starvation and the second one was an advertisement for a mongrel who had been lost; the owner was offering a reward for anyone who could find it… isn’t it a strange how a mother could not love a child as much as another person loves a dog?

Shit or get off the pot?

What an illuminating line. This is what has been embedded in my memory after watching clerks I and II back to back on a nice Sunday afternoon.
For those who don’t know about Clerks I recommend it as a must see. It was a film which had everything which was considered which one should not have to make a hit and still managed to make over 3 million dollars in box office revenues. Nothing much you would say until you realize the budget for the film was only 27,000 dollars. Anyway the characters Silent Bob and Jay came from this movie. Yes it is quite old.

However that is not the main reason of this post but when I hear this phrase shit or get off the pot I realized that is what a lot of us do. We just sit on the pot and do what is known as “thatambanawayfying” and we are quite happy to complain and rave and rant without taking any actions about it. Or is that another word for being Sri Lankan. I for one have decided that 2010 will not be a year of s(h)itting pretty J

The Talented Loosers.

Is this another meaningless oxymoron? Actually no this post is about a bunch of people who are very close to me and I know very well. I have never met people with so much talent. For instance there is one person who is a brilliant cook, a painter, tailor, carpenter, computer hardware engineer as well as photographer with excellent english and communication skills. But sadly this person can never keep a job and lives a hand to mouth existence. It is the same with some of the others I know. There is another gentleman who is one of the most intelligent people I know who is well read and a walking encyclopedia. But all he does is drink his way to oblivion and virtually beg for money. Most of these people I know would have been able to have it all but guess there is one little thing which they lack which is literally stopping them from moving on. I have always wondered if there is something called too much talent and too much intelligence?

Corrupt Democracy or Disciplined (yet cruel} dictatorship? What do I vote for? Do I really have a choice?

Till a few days back I was hoping to spoil my vote as I am of the opinion that neither of the two main contenders have the leadership qualities and skills which the country needs at the moment. But then after many insightful conversations I have concluded I should not spoil my vote. But this has given rise to a list of new anxieties.

On one side I am sick of the corruption which I see around me and the way the MR cronies are running around and sucking the country dry. As well as bullying people.

On the other hand I have been privy to some really horrible stories about SF. Where he has displayed absolute cruelty to those around him. Which includes rape and mutilation and physical brutality. All which is substantiated though which has been brought out now to sling mud at him. Add in the evidence that has been coming out regarding the Hi corp deals which has not been denied by the SF camp.

Other than for his promises I realize that there is nothing which would prevent him from becoming a dictator.

Of course having a dictatorship in these trying times is not a bad thing.

But would it be a benevolent dictatorship like one saw in Malaysia or Singapore. Where a majority of the people benefitted? Or would it be more like what one experienced in Uganda under the leadership of Idi-amin?

I was having a conversation yesterday where someone was asking me if I could remember the JVP times first people applauded when the criminals were removed and the kudu karayas were off the streets. But then after that they started attacking the common man. I don’t want to have it in my conscience that I too contributed to something of this nature. Today someone very intelligent and whose opinion I respect very much told me “Anything is better than the situation what we are experiencing now”

My question is, is it really?

I don’t have any answers but only more questions come to mind? Sometimes it is so hard to make a correct decision when you are caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.

The best meal of the season

You know I love my meals. Be it paang, halmasso thel dala and pol sambol from sea lord or masso kade as is more aptly called by my colleagues to dim sum at the Emperors wok I can appreciate and enjoy anything from anywhere. This season I had been having meals from far and wide and while every meal had something good about it there was nothing special in them worthy of a post.
I am a strong believer that Life always throws us the most wonderful surprises and this season too the most wonderful meal I had was from a totally unexpected situation. It was from a funeral! Yes the Mala Batha!
And the amazing thing is I nearly missed it. If not for providence I would say.
Well my cousins husbands dad passed on xmas night and I had to attend the funeral which was in panadura in fact it was more closer to Wadduwa. And after the funeral we went to the house as was custom. And they started serving buiscuits and drinks and we thought there would be no Mala Batha as tradition. When we were about to say our goodbyes we were told how can you leave without sharing the meal. Generally we would have made excuses but this time something prompted us to eat. Woooow what a meal it was. To describe it as "heavenly" would be an understatement. The traditional "mala batha" or post funeral meal consists of dried fish and vegetables and is tad boring. But this was not your traditional meal. For instance in addition to the usual curries there was beef as well as fish made in the traditional fashion. And every morsal was amazingly tasty. In fact I had two servings. Apparently in these villages there is a funeral society and they handle the arrangements in the case of a death of a member. The meal was cooked by the members of this society as on open fires. And someone told me that all the meals during the funeral had been extremely delicious. Wooow even when I write about this my mouth is watering. I cannot wait for someone else from this family to die! He he he!

Invasion of the Alien in-laws? and monster relations or SLABs as I prefer to call them.

December the festive season for many. Where peace and harmony prevail and good will is shared amongst all. Hmm but not for all. For some it is the time where they wake up to an annual night mare. Where hoards of aliens invade their house and abuse the sense of hospitality which is ingrained in our culture.
Yes for those of you who are not part of the Sri Lankan culture I need to do a little explaining. 25% of our country?s population is overseas. Foreign Labor is one of our biggest exports. From maids to doctors to CEO?s you will find Sri Lankans in all corners of the world. And though Sri Lanka is a budhist nation most of them come back to their mother land for Christmas. In fact this has changed the social fabric of our island lifestyle. Just to give you one example there are more weddings in December than in June. And if you can find a car to rent for a short time in December that would be a miracle.
Anyway to get back to my story most of these people who come from abroad end up staying with a close relative instead of a hotel. And of course when someone from abroad comes down the family silver is taken out and everyone goes out of their way to treat these people in a special manner. It is well and good for the close relative. But if you are the main worker in the house it is a nightmare. Suddenly you have to be cooking for many more people who think that this is a hotel. And if the Sri Lankan from abroad (Sri Lankan(s) from Abroad!) comes with a foreign spouse in tow the troubles increase and if there are kids as well then all hell breaks loose. I know three people all ready who are tearing their hair out because of SLABs invading their houses. Of course I all these parties are the inlaws which means they are only indirectly related to the visitors.
For instance one person was lamenting that all the visitors and the people from home are leaving all the dishes in the sink for her to wash. Something one would never do if you were in the USA or UK. Well then to add to the misery this particular situation has a foreign wife and half bred kids. Which gives a whole load of trouble to the cook. For instance the man from abroad wants meals of traditional Sri Lankan spicey cooking which he cannot get his wife to cook. The wife who cannot for the life of her handle hot curry wants the food she is familiar with. And the kids they want to sample their fathers culture. But it has to be watered down for them and their little taste buds. So the cook has the responsibility of making three types of cooking for one meal. Well you can imagine how stressed out this person must be because she comes to work for rest and some peace and quiet. This is not an isolated incident I have another colleague in office going through virtually the same thing with another story. With a bossy brother in law and a crazy sister in law both siblings of her husband. Her sense of properness was shattered when the sister in law came to the toilet and started taking a piss right in front of her while she was washing something. Well guess these are the little gems of irritation which makes life memorable in retrospect. In other words tear your hair out now but smile fondly over the memories later. :) Wonder if this has ever happened to you?

Carb Fest!!! Sugar Rush!!!

Gosh I don’t know what got into me today but boy didn’t I end up eating my heart out. Started out at the flower drum with a huge lunch which included Barbecued Pork (ohh so delicious) Hot butter cuttle fish and yummy kankung beef. This is was followed by ice cream with gooey chocolate cake and another barista hazel nut concoction with even more ice cream. Thank goodness I don’t put on weight however much I eat???????????

Are the rats about to flee the ship? Conspiracy Theory 1 of many more to come methinks?

Well today someone drew a line and connected the dots between what I thought were two unrelated incidents. The first was that journalists were banned from the airport. The second was that Central Bank now allows Foreign Currency to be transferred abroad as investments. Apparently this is so that vast amounts of black money can be transferred out legally just in case the other candidate wins. Also a lot of important relatives are planning to fly out just before the elections just in case things might not turn out to their advantage. Things are getting curioser and curioser to say the least.

Irish Medical Dictionary

Artery............................The study of paintings
Bacteria.........................Back door to cafeteria
Barium...........................What doctors do when patients die
Benign............................What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section.........A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan........................Searching for Kitty
Cauterize.......................Made eye contact with her
Colic..............................A sheep dog
Coma.............................A punctuation mark
Dilate.............................To live long
Enema...........................Not a friend
Fester............................Quicker than someone else
Fibula............................A small lie
Impotent........................Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain...................Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff..................A Doctor's cane
Morbid............................A higher offer
Nitrates..........................Cheaper than day rates
Node..............................I knew it
Outpatient......................A person who has fainted
Pelvis.............................Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative...............A letter carrier
Recovery Room.............Place to do upholstery
Rectum..........................Nearly killed him
Secretion.......................Hiding something
Seizure..........................Roman emperor
Tablet............................A small table
Terminal Illness.............Getting sick at the airport
Tumor...........................One plus one more
Urine.............................Opposite of you're out

No offense intended to anyone after all my former creative partner was Irish!!!

The known Donkey? The well known yet unknown donkey? Or any donkey?

So election fever has come around once more. Everyone is buzzing. SF is the new black. Everyone is with their antennae up tuned into the fine nuances and the happenings of what I call the political cesspit of our country. I think a cesspit is such a fitting metaphor because I personally believe all politicians are pieces of SHITE.

To me all this is an absolute waste of time and a colossal waste of money. I feel the voters of our country are stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea and are damned whoever they vote for?

While a lot of people who I mingle with seem very pro SF I really think he is an unknown quantity. And how he led an army cannot be transposed to a democratic country. Because if he rules the country like he ruled the army then we are in for big trouble. And to support my claim I cannot think of any success story of a country where a military leader held power. When I think of SF in power what comes to me are the scary images of Burma and Iran.

I have a few choices. Either not to vote which means someone else would use my vote in all probability. To spoil my vote or vote for someone else more as a sign of protest. And right now I think option three seems the most appealing. In fact I am wondering if I should start a facebook page and start this as a cause and see how many people would actually join it.

The Darwin Awards - this is too good not to share

I am not in the habit of doing cut and paste jobs on my blog but I just had to share this with you guys cos its absolutely mind bogglingly funny! So here goes:

The Darwin Awards are out!
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.


Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach ,California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days. [Ingenious...just darn ingenious].

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change.. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.... The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

Morbid... images from kanatte

I was at a funeral at Kanatte today and could not help noticing that the light was beautiful and perfect for taking some pictures. Sadly the only camera I had was on my phone so I just took some time to while away the boredom of the funeral service.... The quality is pretty bad but I just played around with it some on picasa just to make it look better than the actually shite it was looking like. Though I succeeded I do not know guess it is what you think that counts!

How Gullible Can people be or should I title this article The Foolishness of Instant Romance?

I was just glancing through the Daily Mirror this morning and this article caught my attention. Made me wonder what this country is coming to and ask the question can people be this gullible?

I am reproducing the article below with full credits to Sunil De Silva of the Daily Mirror just in case the link does not work in the future:

One night stand man arrested
By Sunil De Silva

A married man who cheated a young woman on the promise of marrying her and fled with her jewelry after spending a day with her at a hotel was taken into custody by the Weligama police. The victim from Hikkaduwa was on her way to the Karapitiya Hospital to obtain treatment for a heart ailment.

The suspect who met her at the Galle bus stand got friendly with her and when she disclosed her illness to the suspect, the latter told her that he was a Naval Rating attached to the Galle Naval Base and that he was looking for a poor young woman for marriage and promised to marry her soon.

He accompanied her to Karapitiya Hospital and even paid for the drugs he bought from a private pharmacy to build up confidence with the unsuspecting woman. When they returned to the Galle bus stand the suspect had lured her into going with him to a hotel in Weligama to talk freely about their future plans.

After spending the day with her at the hospital he requested her to part with her gold chain and the bangles as a souvenir to which the gullible girl had gladly obliged. When they returned to Galle the suspect had left the victim at the Railway station and left with the promise of returning back in a short while after drawing his salary from the Naval Base to go with her to meet her parents.

However, when the suspect did not return she had gone back to the hotel where they had spent the day and obtained the suspect’s name and identity card number, from the register of room bookings and made a complaint to the Weligama Police.

HQI Weligama Mahesh Kumarasinghe immediately deployed Sergeant 51939 Sumanasena and PC 16030 Vipul to investigate the matter. During their investigations they arrested the suspect and recovered the jewelry that had been pawned for Rs.38, 000. The suspect was produced before the Matara Magistrate and remanded.

Dilemma of the suckling pig!

Every Christmas the family meets up at my cousins house and we have Christmas lunch together. And every year I take some item of food like a Double chocolate cheese cake from the Gallery or a roast leg of ham or turkey. This year I was wondering what I should take which would be interesting enough to elicit squeals of delight from all around.

I was face booking and came across a post added on the Chinese Dragon fans page about their Christmas Roasts. One item which piqued my interest immediately was the suckling pig. Now I have been fantasizing about eating suckling pig for many years. And yes I fantasize about food I can go through a menu and get the same kind of pleasure some men would get ogling the pages of Penthouse or Playboy. I had heard that the meat was succulent and mouth wateringly soft. Because a suckling pig is only fed its mother’s milk before its slaughtered at six weeks old. The price was reasonable and within my budget. So I ordered one and with great anticipation collected it and took it to my cousins house imagining all the hooing and the haiing which would take place as the people would tuck in feverishly into the delicious dish. The large tray was covered with a thick foil so I could not see what was under it.

But when the dish was opened what was heard was gasps of horror rather than the squeals of delight I had anticipated. Under the foil was the cutest dead pig you could have seen and everyone including me felt sorry to have been responsible for the death of such a lovely creature. The hostess refused to carve it and I think many of the people found the entire site a little bit revolting.

I had taken a picture of it on my mobile phone to put it up on here so you could see for yourself but sadly once more I had a virus attack on my memory card and it had to be formatted and I lost all the data. I have to ask for a pic from my niece till then I have put up a pic from the web for reference. Trust me when I tell you this its gorier than it looks. And I am a person who has a real strong stomach.

Putting on a brave face a few of us did take some bites out of it. Trust me it was not as wonderful as I had imagined it would be. In fact it was slightly sickening. In my mind I was hoping that I would take the remaining home and feast on it for a couple of days. But at the end of the meal I did not want to have a the remains of babe in my freezer or my memory. Guess I should have settled for a roast leg of pork instead. It would have been wiser and that much more cheaper!

P.S.

I finally added the correct picture and now what you see is the poor little fella who lost his life thanks to my greediness.

Lessons from 2009

...sometimes Friendship is more important than love

...what comes crashing down can also bounce up as long as you remain confident and positive and have faith however difficult it is to do so

...you can still feel very much alone even if surrounded by people who care for you

...that you can be affected by the actions of people you have never met

....the more expensive it is does not mean it makes you more happier!