Actually the title should have read “the Married holy virgin who likes sex on the beach”. But I felt it was much crisper this way somehow.
I am sure some of you must be wondering what new potent intoxicant I must be consuming to come up with such fanatical statements. And some of you must be nodding your head in pity thinking finally this man has lost it. Whilst others would be gasping absolutely aghast, saying look to what depths one would sink to just so he can attract readers to his blog.
I must confess that I too thought that I would never live to see the day where I would be writing such a line truthfully. But I kid you not my friends this is not a lie. A slight exaggeration to get your attention? Maybe… but it is still the truth.
I consider myself blessed to be able to meet interesting people from all walks of life in my career. And “U” and I met whilst working on a project together. She is originally from Jaffna but has lived most of her life abroad. We clicked the moment we started talking and you could say became good friends instantly. U is a highly intelligent and articulate lady who has been an engineer leading a pretty comfortable life in Canada.
Until she decided to come to Sri Lanka and work full time as a missionary without any means of income.
Now for those of you who don’t know, this is a concept which is quite common in charismatic Christian circles and is known as living in faith. It is an expression of ultimate devotion and trust. Where, you focus on doing God’s work and let God worry about providing for your needs. This normally happens where other people feel burdened to make donations or provide in kind for your upkeep. To me living without knowing where your next meal, money for rent or utilities are going to come from would be absolutely stressful. But “U” has been living this way for seven years so far and is quite a cheery and confident person.
Life had been good to her from a material perspective. But extremely cruel when it came to providing her with emotional and spiritual support.
Her child hood was not rosy. She did not have a close relationship with her parents. Living in different parts of the world most of the time meant that she was unable to establish roots. To add to the misery she had gone through an unsuccessful marriage which remained unconsummated whilst her husband abused her physically. At one point everything came to a head and she contemplated suicide but something prevented her. This is how she wrote about that moment in her blog:
“ It was the middle of the night… dark hours… Sobbing noises could be heard from the bedroom in an apartment in North York. Tears were streaming down her face. She didn’t see the point in living any more. What did life have in store for her? Never having even stayed one night alone before, the fear of facing yet another day was too much. She had managed a few weeks but in utmost fear… darting back into the building as if it was her tower of refuge. The metal brace that she had sported on her wrist for a few months was not her type of accessory. Not only did it look ugly, but also it came in the way of her personality. However she knew, without the brace, the healing of the torn ligaments would take longer. Either way, her activity had to be curbed.
The loneliness, the uncertainty… that was something she couldn’t face. She decided on a solution – a solution that would put an end to her miseries. That’s it… the path was easily paved. Her windows on the 18th floor opened into a garden echoing the name of the road – Parkway Forest Drive. There was nothing, absolutely nothing, to stop her, let alone protect her from a jump into that beautiful picturesque scene.
She went to open the window but it seemed to be stuck. Anger crept into her already existing pool of emotions. “An engineer who can’t open a window!” she muttered under her breath. All those years at university seemed to be of no use whatsoever. She admitted defeat and turned back to her king size bed – how what could normally be of comfort, could rub in loneliness even further. However, as she lay down, she saw a vision.
Jesus appeared to her, as a shepherd with a tender lamb in His arms clutched to his chest. He said to her, “You are my lamb, and I won’t let go of you”. A wave of unexplainable peace washed over her… She somehow knew that these words were from the heart. Yes, she had more than her fair share of empty words and empty promises… but instinctively she knew that these words were authentic and trustworthy. Her tears were replaced with a childish smile and she slept like a baby for the first time in quite a while!
The next morning she woke up with sheer determination to check out what was wrong with the window. She had to notify the apartment complex owners of it. Barely had her fingers touched the latch – the window slid open. She knew, she just knew that was the work of her Lord and Saviour! Life was never to be the same again… She had someone who truly cared about her, who loved her and thought she was beautiful and precious! Her steps had a skip in them!”
And guess that is how “U” ended up being my friend.
I do go to church and believe in the lord Jesus Christ but I am not a radical bible thumping scripture spouting born again maniac as some turn out to be. What I loved about “U” was that she did not walk around bearing a holier than thou art attitude whilst wearing a halo. She also did not try to force her opinion down your throat. I don’t have to watch my tongue or tip toe around certain subjects when she is around. I can talk to her like I would to one of my friends. Even when I asked her “that if she had a strong opinion on something if it would be considered as a Missionary position?” all she did was laugh. She is as human as you and I. This was proved beyond doubt when we were having dinner once and she let out that her favorite cocktail is “sex on the beach” - which leads to the title of this post.
Life is by no means easy for her her now. When you are a single, intelligent, attractive, brutally blunt and opinionated - enough to call a spade a spade - foreign passport holder you don’t make a lot of friends. She is plagued by people who try to hit on her – some for her visa – and people who feel threatened by her views and opinions. Hassled by her land lady and emigration officers. Even females consider her a peril. “The married ladies think that since I am divorced I will try and seduce their husbands and the single ladies don’t want me around them as their chances of meeting someone reduces” she tells me with a smile on her face. Sadly the fact that she is divorced disqualifies her from teaching in Bible College in Sri Lanka even though she has the qualifications to do so.
What a shame.
Today she spends most of her time counseling abused children and females. Also spending time with lonely old ladies and helping them with their chores. Even though she does not have sufficient to eat, she still shares her food with people who visit her when hungry and lonely. Knowing very well that it could mean she would have to go without a meal later on. Even though she does not have enough money to make ends meet she shares the little she has with those who are less privileged. Knowing very well that this would mean having to walk to her destinations instead of taking a bus.
Unlike the hypocrites who you encounter in most religious institutions today, my friend “U” chose the best way of all to tell people about Christianity and share the love of Jesus Christ. By example! Through actions and deeds! And I salute her for that.
