Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Good Grief!

I always thought grief should be something private.
Something which should not be shared with others.
Something which should be put behind you in the shortest possible time.
This was one reason why I used to be very cynical when people had funerals spread over 07 days with the entire neighborhood inside their house. In fact I was always for the short dead today and buried today or at least by tomorrow kind of funeral.
However having a chat with two psychologists changed my perception completely.
There I learnt that the entire village coming to you over a long period of time was the ultimate group love exercise. It was the ultimate support group. A giant shoulder to lean on during a time when someone needed it most. And the extended period of time helps the person to grieve properly and get it out of their system. Amazingly people who have this kind of support find it extremely therapeutic and thereby avoid falling into depression or committing suicide.
In fact during the Tsunami they say Sri Lanka’s figures of people who were able to cope without falling into deep depression was the best in the regions which were affected.
Isn’t tradition amazing? 

1 comment:

SP said...

I tend to agree with the opinion you had before you changed your mind. While having people around you might make it easier to deal with your loss, I wouldn't want people coming to my funeral and comment on how my corpse is dressed (and go, "damn, the body looks ugly! She looked better while she was alive.") or go home and impersonate the way my family cried, and the things they said while they cried or find faults in the way the funeral was organized and so on. Believe me, people nowadays are real nosy. At least, I know my neighborhood is. And I don't believe it's a "group love" having a hundred people over. In my opinion, a few closest friends/family is enough share the grief with. And I would want my corpse to be buried/cremated/whatever within a day or two. IMO, You were smart before that psychologist ruined your intelligent ideas. :) :P