The Gloat house

Saturday is a day I would rather spend at home rather than go out. Specially to places I don’t like to be in and have to pretend to be enjoying myself. Sadly this was a situation I had to face last Saturday. One of my close relatives let’s call him Bill has bought a new house and was throwing a house warming party. Bill is quite a nice guy who is blessed with a overpowering personality and is an uncut diamond of sorts. Also with a penchant to gloat a little, in an annoying manner. Therefore someone you cannot suffer for long. So there I was driving down a narrow road when my I nearly bit my tongue in amazement at the new house. To call it a house was a misnomer. It was more of a building. But I must confess that I am being kind here. In fact the most appropriate word for it would have been monstrosity. Four stories high. And built in a manner which seemed it was put together unevenly by building blocks.

To say it was huge was an understatement. Because it is actually an apartment block where three generations of one family were living. The land which this was built on was also odd shaped which means that it was a complex maze of halls and bed rooms and kitchens. Sadly this place was badly designed as well. I believe there was no architect involved and it was the mason and the owner who had gone about the process of putting it up. And to add insult to injury the entire place was decorated in the most garish manner. Orange paint. Fiber Glass moldings and waterfalls and a bridge. Badly placed feng-shui items in gold and terribly bad tiling.

The first thing I thought to myself was what a wonderful place it could have been. It was a property close to the sea. It could have been designed in such a manner where the wind would have been allowed to come through and where great views would have been possible. Sadly only one room had a view of the sea. And all the rooms were walled up and claustrophobic when French windows would have been perfect.

So there I was suffering for about two hours when I forced my brood to go home at the risk of insulting my host. But what the hell I had not had some time of my own for a long time. Sunday was going to be busy and the week after that so I thought it would be best that I thought of myself first and left with a sigh of relief that I did not have to live in such grandiose living conditions.