The continuing tragedy of powerless – painted into a corner

How much of pressure can one take before the damn cracks?

This is the question which was going through my mind as I was observing powerless trying to cope with the additional challenges life had decided to throw across her path over the past few days.

It all began with Powerful being forced to handover the kids to her for half of the school holidays thanks to a court ruling. But along with the kids came the additional pressure of trying to cater to the needs of two kids who are used to an international school lifestyle on a monthly income of less than 30k.

The only weapon powerful has is money and he uses it to the maximum advantage to show the kids how wonderful he is. He showers the kids with tons and tons of expensive presents which include the latest electronic gear, toys and clothes which are fads globally. In addition to this the majority of the kids’ meals are from McDonalds and KFC without a scant regard for nutrition. I believe this is done since it is a more convenient option but sadly the kids don’t see things from this perspective. For them it is Nirvana and the way life is meant to be! So when they are sent to spend time with their mom they compare and ask her to provide the same things which their father does. And innocently try to play one again another saying dad gives me so much why can’t you?

Also powerful has planned a schedule of sports activities and tutoring for the kids to create the maximum inconvenience for a working mom who does not have her own mode of transport and has to depend on lifts, three wheelers or the bus. Fortunately her parents help out with looking after the kids and sometimes cash hand outs. But they also heap a huge amount of abuse on her scolding her for the wrong decisions she has made and for troubling them and bringing them sufferring with all her problems.

I see her rushing to get the kids up, cooking their food, feeding and washing them and dropping them off at the grandparents before making it in time for work. And then scooting out during the day to escort them for their activities. All this whilst balancing a fairly large amount of work. Once again in the evening this situation is played out in reverse.

Sadly the kids are not easy to manage. Due to all the family problems they have experienced they have become spoilt stubborn and uncontrollable. And since they have seen powerful abusing their mother both physically and verbally in front of their eyes; they see no wrong in treating her in a similar manner. They really don’t know any better. Sadly she does not want to be firm and stand up to them as she feels sorry about their situation and is also scared that if they go and tell powerful that they were punished he would use it against her in courts.

Powerful could easily organize a vehicle and driver to take the kids around. But he prefers not to do so to exert some additional pressure on powerless. Even when the kids are sick their medicines are not sent. Neither is she kept informed about the health condition of the kids. Which means that she has to take them to the doctors and redo the tests all over again. At her expense. Of course that is the idea/plan I guess.

I still can’t imagine what kind of father would compromise on the health; safety and well being of his children just so he could get back at his ex-wife? Guess the same kind of father who thinks that one child brought him bad luck. It just doesn’t make sense to me. But then I guess it takes all sorts to make the world. Sigh I just feel so sorry for her. I am surprised that she is still alive. In my case, if I had to face this kind of situation I would have ended my life a long time ago.

Good Petrol and Bad Petrol

I am sure all of us are aware of the bad petrol which is circulating.

In fact I know one or two people who actually had to replace their petrol pumps thanks to it. But I never realized how dirty the bad petrol was till one of the guys I know shared a picture he has taken of a bottle of normal petrol against a bottle of the bad stuff. I have published the picture for your reference and knowledge.

I am sure I had pumped this fuel to my vehicle too.

Fortunately for me I went on a jaunt to the wilds and thanks to it my vehicle was saved. Since the bad petrol had not reached these locations yet.
Yet another advantage of going out into wild during work days. But I sure hope those responsible for this rot in hell.

I hate to admit that I am impressed!!!

Actually much more than impressed.

Especially for someone who is continuously critical of the people in power to a fault. I could also be accused of looking at everything they do through a negative eye.

But during the past few days I have been finding it quite difficult to keep my negative attitude consistent.

It started to shake when the price of the vehicles came down. And then when they started doing up the roads of Colombo, paving the sidewalks and making the city hoarding free and absolutely beautiful, it crumbled further. Yesterday I was driving around Independence square and could not help but gasp in amazement at how wonderful the area looked with all the walls brought down. Even the race course was going to look spectacular with all its beautiful architecture visible. It felt good to be driving around in Colombo. It was like the wonder of Asia they wanted to make it.

Even when I drop off my kids off to school there were so many cops directing traffic - and doing a good job at that too - I was bowled over. However hard I tried there was no way I could be critical of this. And then finally the cookie crumbled when I got this mail showing the pictures of the Southern highway this morning.

Wooow how lovely it looks. To be honest I could not believe that this was Sri Lanka I was seeing.

Yes it seems these guys in power are doing something right even though I hate to admit it. And I feel proud and glad to be living in Sri Lanka right now. There I admitted it.

Another wonderful Read – Opening the door of your heart – Ajahn Brahm

Inspiration? Check.

Illumination? Check

Philosophical? Check

But Humor that would have you rolling in fits of laughter??? No way!!!

In fact that’s the last thing you would expect from a book whose description reads…and other Buddhist tales of Happiness.

But that’s exactly what I found this book to be full of humor and happiness and inspiration. Even though it is an unlikely combination.

The book is full of little short stories written in an easy to read manner. Not the holier than thou art pompousness I was expecting. But to me all the stories were extremely thought provoking and eye openers.

For instance he talks about the difference between true love and romantic love. What he says (in a nutshell) is if you really love someone truly then picture that person falling in love with your best friend and starting a new life together. He says you should feel happy for them instead of feeling jealous or sad. There is one particular story which I have not heard before about how Thailand managed to handle their insurgency problem with love and compassion instead of violence. I think it deserves a special post of its own. I am just one third of the way through the book and quite in awe of the depth of knowledge and wisdom contained within the pages.

Ajahn Brahmavamso who started life as a LondonerPeter Betts is a pupil of the famous Ajahn Chah the thai priest who is considered a prophet.

I am told he visits Sri Lanka quite often and I can’t wait to go and see him preach the next time he comes down.

Confused’s Dillema!

“My wife asked me what does she have which I don’t?”

Confused looks across me and whispers desperately

“I don’t know how to tell her without hurting her feelings that what really attracted me to her was the fact that she can cook a decent meal and keep a neat clean house?”

“It seems so fickle. But it is the truth.”

“For fifteen years I have suffered silently!”

“I have tried to speak to her and tell her how I feel, but it has fallen on deaf years or being brushed aside.”

“In fact to this day I HATE to go home. I HATE living in my house. Who would want to stay away from his own home unless it has become a prison? Every moment I stay there I can feel my life being squeezed out of me. The sad thing is she does not realize how it is killing me.”

“She thinks I am happy or rather I should be happy”

“Sure she is a wonderful mom. But sometimes that’s not enough.

Sometimes you need a wife.”

“If I leave, my kids suffer. If I don’t, I suffer. Gosh now I know the meaning of Damned if I do and Damned if I don’t!”

I put my hands on his shoulder and let it stay there while looking at him patiently saying nothing. Because there is nothing I could say that can bring him any comfort.

All I feel is pity for the poor chap.

You realize that she is no more your little girl…

When you go to pick your pre teenage daughter from a party and you are walking her to the vehicle and one of your friends call you and say in his most lascivious voice “hey buddy does your wife know that you are out with another woman?”

This is exactly what happened to me a couple of weeks ago as I was walking down the corridor of SSC with my eldest. It made me realize that one phase of her life was over and another was just beginning. But this one was far more dangerous because even though she still was a little girl in her heart she did not look like one to the outside world. And very soon I will not be dropping her and picking her up from parties because she would want to go with her friends. And very soon there will be boys at these parties. Boys who were just like me when I was that age and had only one thing on their mind.

I am an open minded easy going person but I must confess I have wondered how I will handle it when she starts getting interested in boys. They say that a majority of females end up being attracted to males who are quite similar to their dads because that is the only male role model they have. To be very honest I don’t find this very encouraging in fact I am downright disturbed because I was an absolute scamp when I was young. And when I look back I am not proud of the things I have done.

I guess what Tom Clancey said about God giving you daughters to punish you for the sins of your youth is absolutely true.

I just hope and pray that I can give her the right guidance and hold her hand steadily as I support her through this phase of her life’s journey.

God help me.

Conspiracy Theories - this time its cricket

Well I heard two tidbits of info from reliable sources.

One being the reason why SJ wanted to play his pre-retirement match in UK instead of home soil. It was because that he was worried he would get hooted when he goes into bat. Of course I got more info on how he made sure that only his allies were voted in to the selection committee but then everyone knows that already and I really don't have anything new to add on that matter than what a crying shame.

But wait till you listen to this.

HT who was shouting about match fixing for sometime finally went upto the powers that be with a priest in tow for additional security and spilled the beans in His Excellencies ear. Two of the three names mentioned were those who everyone suspected which was ADS the former Ferrari driving selector and the Bookie man himself. However the third name which featured prominently was non other than of the Manthrithuma whose wielding the bat right now in UK. Hmmmm let's see what unfolds and what the future holds?