“Thank you for calling HSBC, we are recording this call to serve you better.”
“Serve you better? He ha what a blatant lie!” I laugh crazily and say to myself.
In the past few years I have heard this way too many times for my sanity.
Serving one better is the last thing they have on their mind.
In fact these guys would not know the meaning of the word service.
They have mastered the fine art of making it more and more impossible for their customer to access them. All in the name of efficiency.
The biggest culprit of course is their phone system. Called the IVR (Interactive Voice Response) system.
Dialing into it means you’re entering a maze that takes you from pillar to post without being able to connect to a human.
You can always request a call back. I received the callback I requested one month later. At 11 pm!
Once, I had to put up a public post on Facebook to be able to get through to their customer care. Because calls were getting dropped as there weren’t sufficient staff to man their call center.
I have realized that this is done on purpose to ensure that the low value clients drop off in frustration.
Yet, I have been holding on tenaciously.
Mainly for emotional reasons.
This was my first bank account.
I still remember walking into their large branch nervously. As a teenager, this was unfamiliar territory to me.
The pretty lady behind the counter giving me a questionable look when I said I wanted to open an account.
Her look transforming into surprise when I pulled out the required cash from my pocket.
It has been at least 40 years since.
Over the years, I have also been a corporate client as well.
It was when they refused to grant us a 5 Million facility even though we had over a billion rupees going through our account over many years, that we realized that these banks are not meant for medium-scale local businesses like ours. Their primary purpose is to cater to their international clients.
Recently they upped the ante of making life difficult for their non-prime customers.
Now you have to maintain a minimum balance of 100k in your account. If not, you need to pay 2500 a month for the privilege.
Why would anyone want to keep 100k idle earning the lowest interest possible?
What added insult to injury was that they did not even provide a phone number to find out more information. Instead, directed you to their online chatbot.
When asked how I should close my account? All that the chatbot could tell me was to go to my banking app and send a secure message.
Which I did. I was sent an acknowledgement saying that they would respond within two days.
Guess what? As I write this more than two days have passed. They are yet to contact me.
I am definitely getting served better.
